Caitlin Jenner finally has “the surgery,” Abigail Breslin opens up on social media about date rape in lieu of the legal system, Melania Trump is legally not a prostitute, Clay Adler joins the ranks of now-dead ex-MTV reality show stars, Matt explains overrated people and things in his new segment, Lex’s panties are in a bunch about David Schwimmer, and of course, United Airlines out-does Pepsi.

Sound guy Brian somehow didn’t save last week’s amazing episode, but he’s back and sober enough to remember to hit “save” at the correct time as Lex and Matt discuss that outrage-inducing Pepsi ad with Kendall Jenner, Lena Dunham losing weight and therefore selling out, why David Spade gets so much tail, Rupert Sanders claiming his artistic inspiration came from nailing Kristen Stewart and wrecking his marriage, how Pam Anderson and Julian Assange are definitely still fucking, Brits dropping “Easter” from the name of their egg hunt, and that Funny Or Die video about why men should pay for pap smears or some damn thing.

Lex and Matt descend upon Rocco’s Tavern in Studio City to hammer the week’s most pressing topics: Kesha losing in court again instead of making good music, Scott Disick’s sex addiction, how funny Chelsea Handler is, the marital and ethical strains caused by your wife fucking a middle schooler, a women-only table read of “Juno,” Alejandra Campoverdi’s Maxim photos and fake Streisand Effect attention bait, and…yeah, people are actually paying to rent raccoons in Russia.

Lex and Matt discuss Justin Bieber being a dick to his fans like we all wish we could do, Snoop Dogg’s fake shooting of a fake Trump, Mama June’s hotness, the Texas masturbation protest bill, Pamela’s Anderson’s…well, technically it’s poetry, for Julian Assange, and that Wall Street yuppie humping the statue of a little girl staring down the statue of a bull, prompting a discussion on rodeos in which our resident Wyomingite and sound engineer Brian wishes he thought of the pun “Dancing With the Steers” before typing this just now.

Never mind that Best Picture fuck-up at the Oscars, what’s with them bringing a three-strike felon on stage? Matt joins Lex and his gender-neutral child, Bobby, at Rocco’s Tavern in Studio City for a deep discussion on this and Emma Watson’s “Beauty and the Beast” feminist revision, ABC’s “When We Rise” miniseries on gay rights, that cheating HuffPo blogging marathoner, intentional fatness for body positivity, and more transexual toilet talk.

Are we supposed to pretend like that year-long stint of titless Playboy never happened?  Lex and Matt are joined by radio personality Jake Dill at Rocco’s Tavern to discuss this as well as Beyonce’s lack of musical talent, a bigger, fatter, “more inclusive” SI Swimsuit Issue, Canada’s ban on underage-looking sex dolls, how Emily Ratajkowski is the hottest annoying chick out there, the Day Without an Immigrant protest, fashion show bitchiness, and horrible people they secretly admire.

Women are mad as hell and they’re gonna…well, do nothing, someday… Lex and Matt are back at Rocco’s Tavern to make fun of this, as well as Lady Gaga’s fake body shaming, lame Super Bowl commercials, “Dear White People” on Netflix, how the Duggars keep popping out babies, the struggle of being Madonna’s kid, and Matt explains how super rich guys like Johnny Depp can actually be broke asses.

Lex and Matt are back at Rocco’s Tavern to talk about Matt Barnes and Derek Fischer’s hate-fest, the British Medical Association claiming it’s discriminatory against trans and intersex people to say pregnancy is “a woman thing,” crazy Azealia Banks fighting with Rihanna, Kesha’s steady flow of Dr. Luke rape allegations, NFL Super Bowl ad censorship, and how fucked the Grammys are.

Some mom in Utah will be doing time for doing high schoolers, Shia LeBeouf’s crazy performance art political protest something-or-other, Matt’s lesson to us all on the meaning of intersex, Malia Obama’s internship, an SNL writer’s joke about Donald Trump’s son Barron that led to suspension and outrage, and #OscarsSoNoticeablyLessWhite