I never thought this little podcast of ours would become the most profound and thoughtful take on the times we live in. And I was right. Not even close. However, if you listen regularly, and without falling into a fentanyl coma, you will learn a thing or two. Like Mister Rogers with swear words, or just Mister Rogers when the cameras were off.

On this week’s show, Matt and I get into the Speedo activist at the Encore Beach Club in Vegas, decry racism in the rather varied response to drug users of different colors in Los Angeles, call out airlines for extorting cash for your basic needs, Matt explains why nurses don’t belong in porn clips, we both laugh at the backlash over the Oscars honoring films audiences actually pay to watch, and give some kind of big-hands trophy to the first tranny gubernatorial candidate in Vermont.

Be sure to avidly consume our BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON this week wherein we delve into lesbian Batwoman and the backlash against Ruby Rose, my worst airplane seat mate ever.

There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. But not podcast show days. Those are the times I raise myself by sheer force of will and find the strength to share the truth with the world. Also, cocaine mixed with Maxwell House. More the latter really. Everybody must do their part.

Check out this week’s Patreon Exclusive Bonus Content for rather sensitive information about Melania Trump’s hooking.

On this week’s episode of Last Men on Earth, Matt and I question the logic of letting everybody pick their own genders based on discounted car insurance rates, agree that sexual consent apps are huge boner killers, debate which muscle group in particular gives away Serena William’s equine steroid doping protocols the most, Matt explains how Demi Lovato might be faking her own near-death, we wonder aloud as all of Hollywood’s A-list clamors to be in the new movie about dead fat Roger Ailes and Fox News, and we both say something mean about Kim Kardashian.

Being a straight white male comes with tremendous privileges. The secret clubs come to mind where we hand each other the keys to the kingdom and recommit ourselves to denying access to all others. Not all that secret; we meet in the back of Carrows every other Tuesday, codename: Kiwanis. With all of this privilege, it’s about the disenfranchised people who produce Broadway shows bring to the stage, Straight White Men, a satirical takedown of all this privilege. Matt and I just ordered our tickets. Or did we merely snap our fingers and make them appear? This shit is sinister.

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On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast we delve into Straight White Men, the Broadway show, and wonder whether it’s truly a Beta male bubble phenomenon or something worth concerning real people, we take a crack at being the only people who care about Demi Lovato, defend the right of unemployed actresses to raise money on Kickstarter to start a female only podcast network free of “creeps”, Matt offers suggestions to make Big 3 Basketball even more baller, we contemplate the Tekashi69 origin story, and make fun of the Bronfman heiresses for being part of the Keith Raniere sex cult. I feel this could be the episode that gets put in the Smithsonian.

Additionally, for our Patreon most-awesome members, we have Bonus Content featuring a dark and darker discussion of the likes of Dan Harmon’s humping-a-baby video and James Gunn’s pedo-rape Tweets and how to reconcile those in your hearts and minds. It’s disturbing, but we go there. Oh, we go there.

Sometimes I wonder if two half-breeds with poor work habits can actually save this gaseous spinning orb. Then I remember that’s the precise winning character formula of every space opera ever. So Matt and I persist. Not because we must, but because we long ago forgot where the door is.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth Podcast, we wade hip deep into the latest bit of Sacha Baron Cohen shtick exposing how stupid old white people are pretty much stupid, old, and white, consider the fact that gay conversion camp films like Boy Erased are made for Oscar consideration, not narrative quality, wonder why a Chinese-American director decided only he can tell the Thai cave boy story, laugh even more at Terry Crews for MeTooing himself onto the Asia Argento support letter fo the Times, and consider the mathematics behind transgender activists insistent than only transgender actors can portray transgender characters in movies and TV. I think we talk for like four beers.

Also, bonus content for our Patreon fans, Panties in a Bunch, wherein we talk about the slippery slope danger of felony hate crimes being attached to all these drunk old topless racist curmudgeons in the park. For whom the bell tolls, and all that line of thinking. Be sure to listen. This will be on the quiz.

If you like us, or hate us, but so much so that it circles back to like, subscribe and write us a quick review on iTunes. It’s what Babe Ruth would be doing if he were alive today. After whoring.

Neither the rockets red glare nor the illegal Mexi-fireworks bursting in air could sway Matt and I from our appointed recording rounds to knock out LMOE #127. America! You’re far from perfect, but you’re still the girl at the dance everybody wants to feel up.

On this week’s podcast we delve into the sexual mummification death of a UCLA gay studies professor in the dungeon of a William Morris executive, laugh again at Terry Crews for his tears-of-an-oversized-clown routine before Congress, analyzed Amber Heard’s call for her rich friends to protect their illegal servants from ICE, tranny-backed Scarlett Johansson, and gagged a bit discussing Mama June in her new lingerie spread.

For our fans on Patreon, there is bonus content, Panties in a Bunch: Why Are Privileged White Women So Fucking Angry? We break down the chaos and depression of white chicks with credit cards. Very feminist in our thinking, I assure you.

Be sure to subscribe to our show for free on iTunes, leave a comment, would that really kill you?

My grandmother once told me, there’s a reason they don’t have boxing in the Special Olympics. She left it at that. It took me nearly two decades to figure out what she meant. And no, I’m not telling you. You’ve got nineteen years to beat me.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt fights through a raging case of cerebral herpes as we discuss CHRISSY TEIGEN breasts as dutiful mother and attention whore, SUGE KNIGHT denied request for an obvious escape attempt, laugh at KAT VON D for being a vegan anti-vaxxer tattoo artist, wonder aloud if that dude from Riverdale who wrote fat jokes about chicks on Twitter back in 2012 will ever work again, discuss the type of guy who never carries cash, and wonder if Russian Burger King doesn’t have the right idea urging their native ladies to ingest the semen of World Cup stars from around the world.

And in our Panties in a Bunch bonus segment this week, EXCLUSIVELY FOR OUR PATREON SUBSCRIBERS, I provide an explanation of the creepy email CHRIS HARDWICK sent me while dating CHLOE DYKSTRA, though also why I don’t think being creepy ought to cost you your job.

Join us if you will on FacebookTwitter, or iTunes.

(NOTE: We’re now recording our Panties in a Bunch outrage segment as bonus content for our Patreon members who shell out one buck in the name of humanity. This week’s segment: How Gay Pride Month Shafted Black History Month. It’s a must listen if you have half a brain. But no more than that.)

June is Offensive Podcast Appreciation month, I’m fairly sure, need to look that up. Matt and I were determined to add some nuggets of wisdom and truth to our crap salad of words this week in honor of the celebration. Did we succeed? Probably not. I think we need a life coach.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast we ventured into the musings of Gender Studies deep thinker Suzanna Danuta Walters, she’s one of the best, agreed that we’d hang ourselves with a bathrobe belt if Rose McGowan pulled all-nighter rants in our living room, defended Jamie Foxx’s penis, outed Rotten Tomatoes for their gender bump, questioned how you’d know if an unemployed young actress in Hollywood was in a sex cult or merely a waitress, and Matt sort of agreed finally that Kanye West is a rap marketing genius.

Subscribe to the show on iTunes. Rumor is Apple will give you a free iPhone X and a cold-faced hummer if you do. Can’t confirm as of yet.
As you may know, Brian attempted to ruin the taping of this program by spiraling our entire large and delicious combo pizza onto the floor of Rocco’s. Shabby behavior.
But we carried on, into bold discussions about why nobody is watching Rose McGowan’s broken woman show, wishing for even more tragic gay conversion movies, wondering why Hannah Simone gets to casually call everybody racists without a second thought, try to imagine a worse idea than opening Starbucks up to even more vagranty vagrants, Matt defends being a low brow eater, somebody questions us on crying during the Royal Wedding, and I call out gay actress appropriation in Hollywood because nobody else will. Seriously, this is like sex that lasts 90 minutes. Well, imagine that if you’re a woman, obviously that’s 87 minutes too long for a man.
Subscribe to the show on iTunes. Rumor is Apple will give you a free iPhone X if you do. Can’t confirm as of yet.

Admittedly, this show was largely therapy for Matt and I, who at one point delved into whether midget’s have larger than average penises, or average penises set against smaller than average body sizes. It is perplexing and something a prominent journal of medicine is never going to cover with due diligence.

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On this week’s show, we covered midget peen, Handmaid’s tale fantasy feminist dystopia, Kevin Hart being sextorted by his own friend, Stormy Daniels defrocked, Ashley Graham larger than life, Johnny Depp drunken sot (for which Matt apologizes), Amber Rose and Amanda Knox genius intellects, and DJ Khaled’s refusal to go down on a woman, which is haughty stuff from a fat man. It seems raunchy, but when we discuss it like adults, it’s incredibly raunchy.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes. Rumor is Apple will give you a free iPhone X if you do. Can’t confirm as of yet.

There are two theories worth considered on an all-powerful deity above. One is that he allows idiocy and hypocrisy to thrive in the human population as a matter of live and let live Darwinism. The alternative, and far more depressing theory, is that God is watching The View and “go-girling” Joy Behar who he finds hilarious and insightful. If you happen to feel strongly it’s the latter, I wouldn’t blame you for jumping off this planet.

Learn to Love Life Again! Become a Member of the I Kind of Like the Last Men Podcast Club on Patreon!

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast we discuss the possibility of starting our own sex cult because young actresses will fall for anything, delve into why Amy Schumer is the wrong kind of chubby for movies, explain why nobody in the media will cover the Hart lesbian mothers murder of their six adopted black children, expose the fact that the Time’s Up movement is largely a shallow Hollywood A-list actress clique, rip on Canada for being Canada, and so much more. Honestly, we talk for forever, or until they cut off our free drinks.