Was Ahmed Mohamed unfairly targeted for his homemade clock, or was he just screwing with his Texas school and the media? Can celebrities ever just screw up without blaming a previously-undiagnosed condition? Will black actors ever stop talking about oppression? Is there anyone left in Hollywood who isn’t gay or bisexual? Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston attack these pressing topics, plus Alyssa Milano’s breastfeeding Nazis, the #revolution of #ThighBrows, and the #NewFace of #SocialActivism: retweeting for the cause (and reward points for concert tickets and prizes and stuff)!
Lex and Matt are back after a week off, and today they’re joined by special guest and comedian Pete Giovine!
Should journalists straight up ask people like Tom Hardy if they’re gay? Was Emily Ratajkowski’s topless music video her worst gig ever? Do you even know who she is without us telling you she was in Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” video? This, plus a middle school dare gone criminally wrong, a fashion model with Down syndrome, a Floyd Mayweather retrospective, and a topless protest of a French Muslim conference on wife beating!
Were this year’s VMAs the worst ever, or is it just teen culture in general that’s awful? Is there a bias against women with fat asses, or is it just Nicki Minaj? We also discuss a pro wrestler’s murder charge, a herpes empowerment blog, Matt’s worst job, a literal, organized slut parade, and Caitlyn Jenner carrying the torch (not a euphemism).
It’s tough being a football fan what with all the raping and the beating on the part of the players. Plus now there’s not even the comfort of your Ashley Madison account or grown man surgically adjusted to look like young Justin Beiber to turn to. It’s even getting risky to fuck your high school teacher these days. What have we become? Let’s at least put Terence Howard in jail on TV if we can’t jail him in real life, and take all the booze off the USC campus to punish everyone for Steve Sarkisian’s imaginary problem.
Pedophiles run Hollywood, luckily Ben Affleck found a fully grown nanny. Trump leads a clown race, Kylie Jenner ruins birthdays forever while Kiran Ghandi ruins marathons, leading Lex to run away with a dolphin.
A dentist kills a lion, drugs kill Bobbi Kristina Brown, a hooker kills a serial killer, the Cosby 35 shoot to kill, and there’s a new transsexual modeling agency so could we please just let Kylie Jenner fuck legally already?
Cosby’s exposed, Cruise may be exposed, Cait is overexposed, Ashley Madison users are exposed, 50 Cent exposed as broke, and God exposes himself to Russell Wilson.
Rue from the Hunger Games claims Kylie Jenner appropriates black culture, Lex & Matt claim the Duggar family appropriate cult culture, Donald Trump claims Mexicans appropriate our women & belongings, and Serena Williams appropriates masculinity while Caitlyn Jenner appropriates the Arthur Ashe courage award.
It’s a wacky, mixed-up world. Jason Pierre-Paul gets sidelined by a firework while George Takei does an end zone dance, De’Andre Jordan goes full Mayweather, Dukes of Hazard is cancelled while ESPN does art porn. At least Ben Affleck is free to get his freak on now, released from the bonds of marriage. Sail on, Holden.