The world has turned upside down and all the Chinese people have fallen off. It’s our job to fix what is rotten on this planet with semi-literate commentary on the week’s events. It doesn’t pay well, and there is no paternity leave, but everybody here speaks English and can take a dick joke. So there’s that.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve deep into the deep throating done by major cities to attract Jeff Bezos to their metro portals, mock GQ magazine for selecting Serena Williams as their sweet biceps of the year, talk a lot about this enormous chick in England who’s breastfeeding her daughter at age nine, kind of defend Kim and Kanye for their private firefighting mercenaries, lament how sophisticated sexual assault coaches have become in shaping the testimony of both real and false rape accusers, surmise reasons why the field in Mexico City wasn’t ready for this weekend’s mega NFL abroad game, and say a bunch of other incredibly inane things that once in a while make sense. Somebody’s got to speak truth to power.

And in our bonus segment for Patreon members, we slide into the thongs of Victoria’s Secret models and defend the slave-labor fueled mega-panties company for refusing to allow transgendered females and BBW’s walk in their annual show. We’re probably dead already, at least on the inside.

Sally Forth.

Lex.

There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. But not podcast show days. Those are the times I raise myself by sheer force of will and find the strength to share the truth with the world. Also, cocaine mixed with Maxwell House. More the latter really. Everybody must do their part.

Check out this week’s Patreon Exclusive Bonus Content for rather sensitive information about Melania Trump’s hooking.

On this week’s episode of Last Men on Earth, Matt and I question the logic of letting everybody pick their own genders based on discounted car insurance rates, agree that sexual consent apps are huge boner killers, debate which muscle group in particular gives away Serena William’s equine steroid doping protocols the most, Matt explains how Demi Lovato might be faking her own near-death, we wonder aloud as all of Hollywood’s A-list clamors to be in the new movie about dead fat Roger Ailes and Fox News, and we both say something mean about Kim Kardashian.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast, we answer Shonda Rimes question as to why nobody took her seriously when she was super fat, crush the religion that is Serena Williams idolatry, defecate on the Fearless Girl championship rings, Matt tries to but fails to apologize to Amber Heard, examine why Jessica Biel can’t stage a proper struggling working mom photo, and determine that nobody wants to host an end of Ramadan dinner for a bunch of dudes who haven’t had sex in a month. All the news that’s fit to print.

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