LMOE #168 – Amber Heard Lied, Kobe Died

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive into the hard landing of Kobe Bryant who Matt wished dead on tape two years ago, though he gets bonus points for calling Amber Heard a liar two years ago on wife abuse charges, we explore Harvey Weinstein's micro-penis, tell you the truth about Meghan Markle's master plan, wonder if two Latina (Latinx!) moms pole dancing at the Super Bowel really constitutes female empowerment, and expose the woke narcissism that is Joaquin Phoenix.

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  • LMOE #168 – Amber Heard Lied, Kobe Died

    On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive into the hard landing of Kobe Bryant who Matt wished dead on tape two years ago, though he gets bonus points for calling Amber Heard a liar two years ago on wife abuse charges, we explore Harvey Weinstein's micro-penis, tell you the truth about Meghan Markle's master plan, wonder if two Latina (Latinx!) moms pole dancing at the Super Bowel really constitutes female empowerment, and expose the woke narcissism that is Joaquin Phoenix.

  • LMOE #167 – The Internet Is For Porn

    Now that Matt and I are shitting out content on a regular schedule, it's time to consider your patronage of this blessed audio work. Where would the world be without the De Medici family-supporting Michelangelo? Or George Soros supporting transnational sex workers? The bare, naked, honest, and horrible truth needs benevolent patrons as well.

    Support the Last Men on Earth podcast with your couch change, you glorious motherfucker.

  • LMOE #166 – Lizzo Needs the Lipo

    After an extended break where Matt and I each had plastic surgery to look like the other, like Face/Off, only with less straight actors, we are back and fully recharged […]

  • LMOE #165 – Making a Mountain out of Katie Hill

    On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt and I explore the crotch-level depths of Congresswoman Katie Hill's fall from disgrace, including that Germanic Iron Cross on her pubes.

  • LMOE #164 – Greta Thunberg Scold-a-thon

    It's less often that Matt and I have the chance to sit down and really talk out our feelings. Like who's a fucking moron, who deserves to be felled by a tetanus-ridden cleaver, and who is so hot you'd do it with her even if she had visible scabies rashes. It's a real bearing of the souls.

  • LMOE #163 – Gay Balls, Straight Oppression, and The Miracle of Childbirth

    You know how in every successive rap album Eminem spends half the record time apologizing for his last album being shitty and promises this one now is finally good -- that's our latest Last Men Podcast, except for the apologizing for the last one bullshit. That's pretty pussy for 8-Mile.

  • LMOE #162 – Game of Moans

    Matt and I get a lot of heat for our irregular podcast recording schedule of late. But if you knew the difficulty arranging venues and times between Matt's ankle bracelet and school and park distance restrictions and my own rule about podcasting naked, you'd realize logistics can be tough. Only half of that is true. Give peace a chance.

  • LMOE #161 – Yang Gangs, Bang Gangs, and Chelsea Hooligans

    Coming off my audio failures this week, I put extra effort into being profound, on-topic, and thoughtful -- or, none of the things that come naturally to me. Meh, too much work. It's like the frog and the scorpion porn clip where the girl dressed up as the frog tries to figure out why the dude scorpion put his thing in her. Some things in life are better left as mysteries.

  • LMOE #160 — The Unbroken

    One thing I've learned in life is to admit when you made a mistake, learn from that mistake, then beat your children to mask your feelings of shame. Everybody has their own plan. I did manage to delete the front half of the show and somehow have an audio software that rolls circa 1988 without auto-save or auto-recovery or "hey, you fucked up, now restore your file" as an option. Damn you, shareware!

  • LMOE #159 – Amy Schumer Pump and Dump

    It's harder for Matt and I to get together these days, what with my running a shelter for runaway teen girls who are height-weight proportionate and hate their fathers, and Matt's multiple ankle-bracelets and restrictive curfews. So when we do meet up, we try to make it count with insightful comments, wise analysis, and profound thoughts. I mean, we would do that if we could, but we can't, so we slather on the bullshit and add a few exclamation points to make it seem official.

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